Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Closure

“Neppo needs the fan and some soft music to fall asleep”.

“He’s a dog mom; all he needs to fall asleep is a full stomach”.

Napoleon the third, our adorable pet dog and the most trending topic in our family for over a year now enters the room again.

This is his fifth time going around the house. He is acting like a child on a sugar rush.

“Turn on the fan and see what happens”. Mom tells me.

I reluctantly get up and follow her instructions.

Napoleon returns for the sixth time.

“Thud”!!! He crashes on the floor unceremoniously.

“Did you see that”? I ask my mother, amused but mostly shocked by what I just witnessed before my eyes.

‘It was like all his joints dislocated at once”. I say aloud.

“I’ve seen that before, now turn on the music”. She tells me.

“Let’s wait and see, I still don’t think it’s the fan. He is just tired from running around ma”.

“We’ll see’. She says shaking her head disapprovingly.

Neppo is lying on the floor but he is by no means still.
I’m fascinated by the manner in which he is rolling his sausage shaped body round and round. I can’t help being amazed by how he is keeping his long nose from touching the floor.

I look at my mom helplessly; Neppo is showing no signs of sleeping.

“Music”. Mom says.
I yank out my phone and queue up the first song on my ‘soft and silly’ playlist.

The song ‘What would I do without you’ by ‘Drew Holcomb and the neighbors’ starts to play.

Magically, even before the chorus, Neppo is fast asleep.

I’m sitting right next to him holding the phone near his ears.

“The difference between what I’ve said and done, and you’re still standing by my side”. I start singing along.

He gently pushes me with his paws waking up.

I stop singing, and he immediately goes back to sleep.

“I will never make it if I’m on my own” I sing again, this time in a much softer voice.

He wakes up again and pushes me harder with his paws. He even yawns loudly to make his request clear - He doesn’t want me to sing along.

“Don’t feel bad, his reaction is even worse when I sing to him”. My mother says trying to console me.

His head is resting on my thigh and I can’t help but look at the little fellow lovingly and be touched by the look of contentment on his face.
It may come as a surprise to you that I first came to know about closure only a few years ago.

I was watching an episode of ‘The Office’ from season 5 called lecture circuit, where Michael Scott, the main protagonist of the show is wondering if he should visit the place where a woman he once loved works.

He doesn’t want to go. It’s hard for him because he still has feelings for her.

Even as a viewer you feel compelled to agree with him.

That’s when Pam, the receptionist at his office and his close confidante steps in and suggests that he goes ahead with the plan anyway, because, that’s the only way he can find some ‘closure’ on this whole chapter of his life.
Michael eventually agrees.

In the beginning, it’s a trainwreck. But at the end of the ordeal, Michael realizes that it was the best thing he could have done.

I often compare life to a long-running TV series with episodes of all different kinds, some are funny, some are thrilling, some meaningful, sad and some even boring at times, but ever changing nonetheless.

The problem is that quite often for some reason call it whatever you want, timing, circumstance, destiny, etc some of these episodes in our lives end abruptly.

While it may not hit us initially, eventually, at some point of time or the other we tend to think about it, and yes, it makes us feel uncomfortable.

The why’s and if’s and maybe’s just start cropping up from every nook and corner till you realize, hey! I know it’s been a while since the broadcast of this episode was suddenly interrupted, but I don’t think I’m done watching it yet.

The chapter is incomplete.

That’s when you know, you need closure.

Like most other things in life, even when it comes to seeking and finding closure, it’s not always easy.

This not only applies to relationships as such, it could be a dream that you were working on that went unfulfilled, or a project at work that was dismissed before completion, even dues your employer owes you, or a friend who won’t talk or listen to you anymore. Something, anything that causes you to feel deficient or discontent in life.

Not everyone will be willing to meet you halfway and help you find the answers to the questions plaguing you mind and they may or may not have valid reasons for this.

What then can you do to get the closure you so desperately seek? Where do you go?
How then do you go back to feeling normal again? Especially when you are very well aware of the fact that going back to revisit those memories could possibly unleash a world of pain on yourself.

Should you go back or just let It fester?
I think I know a way and in my experience, it works.

It all comes down to this one question.

Do you feel like you have done the best you can to fix something that you feel is broken?

If your answer is yes, you’re done. That’s the universe telling you that your role in the episode is over.

If your answer is no and you don’t care about that episode in your life, great, nothing needs to be done. You have probably already moved on.

If your answer is no and you do care and you can’t sleep at night because the thought is eating you up on the inside, here is what you do.

You wake up, and you find a way to fix it.

Just one little thing, make sure you are going ‘all in’ this time.

You are inviting yourself to some guaranteed pain and disappointment so when you emerge out of it, you have to be sure that you’ve done the best that you possibly could.

Here is the best part of doing this.

You wouldn’t have to ASK for closure anymore because now, you would’ve EARNED it.

You might want to ask me why I brought Neppo into this post, how does he fit into all this?

The truth is, I feel contentment and closure are very closely linked.

Lil Neppo too has challenges in his life, whether it is his morning belly rub or his afternoon share of chicken bones or just running away with my sock as soon as I take off my shoes every evening, I have never seen him give up on something till he has tried his best, maybe that’s what helps him sleep like a baby. (In addition to the fan and the music off course :)

All of our life’s pursuits are aimed at finding peace and contentment and if something is keeping us from feeling that way, we should try our best to fix it.

The only way you’ll know if you’re done with a complicated episode in your life, is if you have done the best you could.
No one can stop you from finding the closure you seek, especially when you realize that the very knowledge of doing the best that you possibly could’ve done to achieve something is all the closure you need.

Until Next Time


TGV